Pinking out the black, dreaming in a crackSonic Youth, Dirty Boots (1990)
Satan got her tongue, now it’s undone
Every time that I stare into the sunHole, Asking for It (1994)
Angel dust and my dress just comes undone
“Good come in pink boxes”
The magic is in the holeVoodoo Doughnut Slogans (2003-present)
When did Kurt Cobain meet Courtney Love? I’ve looked into this, and I don’t have an answer. Honestly, I’m not even sure when Chris and I first met, and that is because when you are into music and/or are a musician, and you are in a scene with other people who are into music and/or are musicians, you tend to know about people, especially performers, before personally meeting them. You might be in a room with the person, maybe be introduced briefly, or in someone’s orbit, part of a group conversation, etc. Then later on down the road, maybe you have the opportunity to have a longer conversation, but often it’s in a social setting with lots of other people. That’s how it was with Chris and me, and likely it was that way for Kurt and Courtney, but with the added twist of Courtney likely always had a mission and knew she had a mission. I say this because it seems clear to me now that when Courtney arrived in Portland in 1980, she was apparently on a mission to frame Chris Newman as a child rapist. It also seems clear that her father was part of that plan. Supposedly it was her father who provided her with the Owsley barrel acid she brought with her.
If it is true that Courtney had a mission with regards to Kurt Cobain, say by the mid-1980s, then it stands to reason she would have known when she first met Kurt, because she would have been paying attention, and it would have been a set up. By now I see that set ups are the rule, not the exception for people under this much surveillance and control – including Chris, me, my daughter, Kurt Cobain. This is unacceptable, by the way.
When I was running this Satyricon fan page on MySpace, as I said before, I received this at the time unpublished photo of Kurt Cobain by email which I thought was really neat. It was from Monica Nelson’s friend David Ackerman, a photographer who liked to take photos at Satyricon, and it was a performance photo from January 6, 1989.
Over time I saw more and more photos from that set eventually having access to the full collection. In one photo, I thought I recognized Courtney Love’s face looking up at Mudhoney, and sent an inquiry to Everett True about it, whom I already had had some email exchanges with, and he said that it might be her, but even if she was at the show, she was probably there to see Mudhoney, and there’s no evidence she met Kurt Cobain there. Later I realized the blonde woman in another photo was Courtney, or David told me it was her. The thing about this show is there weren’t many people there. Also, Courtney is pretty dressed up and front and center. I don’t know where she was living in 1989, but I now know she had been around my circle in Minneapolis in 1988, and in April or May of 1989 I would run into some LSD that was likely Owsley LSD – in Minneapolis. That may be nothing to do with Courtney, and everything to do with the CIA. It seemed like in the 1980s (and probably to this day) Courtney was/is always on the move with stations in New York, London, Los Angeles, etc. In the old days it included Portland, Seattle, San Francisco.
Then there’s this whole thing going on where even the most cursory contact with a person somehow earns another the “right” to file defamatory reports with the FBI. And by “defamatory” make no mistake – I don’t mean “negative” I mean full of damaging lies. For example, if I sell something to someone through the mail – the person pays me some money, and I put something in the mail to that person – or if I go and sell some musical equipment at a store – these people who engage in this simple, single straightforward transaction somehow have now earned the right make reports about me to the FBI. How this works I don’t understand. It could even be untrue, because I have no corroborating evidence. But it does seem to be true that any contact with a person whatsoever earns people, especially certain people, the right to create FBI files. So as soon as Courtney had some contact with, for example, Kurt Cobain, she could have been filing reports on him, with an agenda behind it all. And I have reason to believe that Sub Pop as a business was linked into all of this. The reason I believe this is because of how Cobain’s (Nirvana) shows were scheduled in relation to Chris’ (Napalm Beach or Snow Bud) shows – there was a parallel going on, not just in Europe but in Seattle and Portland, too. By this I mean, they typically would play the same clubs within a week or two of each other. (“I’ve been in your heart shaped box for too (two?) many weeks…”) I haven’t really shown this yet because every time I start working on collecting the data, the isht hits the fan.
I would ask myself why there would be a parallel going on. Sometimes things like this happen because there’s an occult side to this. Because the crimes are CIA and FBI linked, and police and the press are locked down (or that’s how they behave), there’s far less than usual concern about being “caught.” So there is some flaunting, display of power, going on.
The dirty plans for Kurt Cobain were, as most of these larger and more coordinated crimes are, not so much secret but covered up. I say this because I’m starting to see suggestions of something come out in videos both before and after the death of Kurt Cobain. There is the Sonic Youth video for Dirty Boots from 1990 showing a boy in a plaid shirt and a girl in a Nirvana t-shirt dramatically leaping off a stage, falling through the air. The Nirvana t-shirt has a home-made screen print look, with the word Nirvana appearing above a concentric circle radiation/target design similar to that used by Courtney on her posters for Hole. Also interesting that the t-shirt screen is red, since Cobain’s wrote his suicide note ~3 years later in red pen.
The girl in the Dirty Boots video supposedly was chosen after being seen dancing in a club in New Jersey. I suspect that there is something deliberate in that, the New Jersey link. The boy in this video seems like he had some resemblance to me during this era. His hair is the same or similar color, length, style.
Is “boots” a play on bootleg? See poster with Babes In Toyland mentioning “bootleg” and “dirty, icky clothes!!” – Is that in turn a link to the Columbo coat? And later, the cat-piss leather jacket? Another possibility has to do with Chris getting back together with Valarie in San Francisco October of 1989, the weekend before the Loma Prieta earthquake. Jan Celt had been quoted in the local music press making a comment that Chris had found gross, about how their “boots would be knocking.” In fact, just as Chris was leaving San Francisco, the bridge-buckling earthquake hit.
Later, when Chris and Valarie were living homeless on the streets of San Francisco (and it sounds like running off to San Francisco was Valarie’s idea; she’d grown up in San José) – there’s a story that I heard from both of them which is that Valarie would go dumpster diving for clothing or fabric behind a high fashion store, and the police would call her “Courtney” – like, greet her, “Hi Courtney!” I don’t know if this was a one-off or a regular occurrence but it suggests a link or parallel between Valarie Caldwell Newman and Courtney Love Cobain and that the police in San Francisco were aware of it. And it’s also linked to dumpster diving and maybe “dirty clothes.” Is the world “clothes” linked to death? (clothes/close)
Then there’s the 1992 Radiohead song “Creep.” There are different ways to listen to this song. Like, to me, maybe he’s not singing “I’m a weirdo” but “I’m a widow.” And “running out the door” is by design a mirror – meaning – either escape for the prisoners, Chris and me, or escape for the crime gang. In this case, the meaning is the latter, escape for the crime gang. And a primary strategy in this is to run out the clock – to get enough time to attack with radiation weapons and kill with cancer. This is what they need time to do, and why they always find a reason to ask for or incentivize others to accept the idea of giving us more time in captivity. Now, we should never have been kept in captivity. It is illegal, immoral, unethical, and cruel. But brainwashing and cult-like control is a huge part of this. They can make people believe or accept almost anything (they hope), and all they need to do is to keep the loop running long enough to “escape” and that in turn will give them the ability to continue the crime indefinitely (they believe). Another aspect of Creep is that the idea of it being about Courtney is probably a back side to it being about portraying me as a creep, the idea that I’m someone no one notices, that I want to be special, etc. That’s been both the manipulation around me, and the set ups, and the portrayals. I may have wished to be noticed, etc, but I never thought that I was a creep. But it’s not really about what I think, it’s about what the actual creeps project. At the end of the song they sing “run, run, RUN!” like a warning, which is, I think, what they wanted to do. To warn me, to warn Chris, to warn Kurt Cobain.
I think knowing this now, other songs like this will come forward. For example, Tom Petty’s “Into The Great Wide Open” (1991) and possibly Peter Gabriel’s “Big Time” (1987). I definitely see it in music videos that came out after the death of Cobain, like Soundgarden’s Black Hole Sun which is another mirror type song.
Back in 2014 I thought that the concept of the “hole” and the “sun” were equivalent but now I realize they are opposite. The hole represents death and darkness, while the sun represents truth.
It’s also pretty obvious, looking at this, that there’s a link between Courtney Love and Voodoo “the magic is in the hole” Doughnut, the spiral on the voodoo doll style doughnut being a link. The spiral may be worth its own entry.
I do see that in the Dirty Boots video it’s less a spiral than concentric rings, and I suspect this has to do with the acid test I would be put through on June 8, 1991, on the Klamath River (one year to the day, as it turns out, before the release of Faith No More’s album Angel Dust). The target shape looks like a topographic map.
As it appears on the t-shirt, it could be a vinyl record, a mountain peak, or a hole.