Playing the victim

Sometimes there are “gotcha” moments, but more often, seeing the outlines of the crime is largely about seeing patterns. One of the primary patterns I see is “playing the victim.” This works well when you’ve weaponized and exploited women, children, and Indigenous and black people, as has been done. To be a butterfly is to be exploited. Being exploited makes a person angry. Butterflies are angry, but what I see is they misdirect their anger, probably because it benefits them socially, professionally, and financially. Misdirected revenge becomes a way of life. Also, there is a cultivated culture that elevates deception and opportunism. You are seen as masterful if you can pull the wool over someone’s eyes and take them for all they’ve got, or set wolves after them. Think Harley Quinn.

A huge power move I’ve seen pulled by just about every deceiver in this scenario is playing the victim, and fingering an innocent party as the perpetrator. This is considered a tactic of deception, a legitimate power move.

In those cases where they don’t want to lie directly, they use the power of implication. They don’t say exactly what happened or who was responsible – they let you believe that someone did something – draw your own conclusions and so forth.

I don’t want anything bad to happen to my daughter’s father, but I am aware that in the 1990s he unfairly painted me as unfaithful, or possibly unfaithful. When I was pregnant with our daughter he acted like he didn’t think he was the father, which was completely insane. I’d never given him any reason to think that I’d been unfaithful, and I hadn’t been. I now see that this is part of a bigger pattern. The script came from elsewhere.

Chris’ second wife Denise acted like she thought Chris was being unfaithful because when he was left alone for months at a time he spent time with his ex-wife Valarie, who wouldn’t leave him alone, and/or relapsed on heroin. Chris was never unfaithful to Denise, though she was unfaithful to him, in that she married him fraudulently. She also continually tried to lure him back, even though she really didn’t want him.

Valarie wrote to Chris while he was sick and dying of cancer, “playfully” calling him “pimp daddy” – as if he had pimped her out. Valarie’s life as a prostitute was her doing, not Chris. She dragged Chris into the heroin lifestyle and she dragged him onto the streets. Am I saying Valarie was never exploited? No, I am not saying that. I’m saying Chris did not exploit her. But she never let him forget about their lives in the gutter.

Shortly before Chris died, his sister Becky texted “I forgive you big brother!” – for what, exactly?

I’m not saying that in their time together, Chris had never done anything to hurt Becky – I’m saying that in the entire twelve years I lived with Chris, Becky had never once indicated that she was holding some kind of grudge against him that she’d need to forgive him for, just before his death. To be honest, I think she’s the one who should be asking forgiveness.

I’ve just been reading through Courtney Love’s old tweets. She’s been doing the same thing, indirectly. One of the things she keeps alluding to is being exploited and/or raped in some kind of entertainment industry context – but she has never come out and said what that was. I’ve told the story that Chris told me as completely as I know it, and it is a story of exploitation – but not by Chris. Courtney was a teenager, and she tried to trick Chris into having sex with her. This doesn’t make her “guilty” – but I think that she should come out and say what really happened, and who, EXACTLY was behind it. Stop with the cryptic bullshit.

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