Tag: Chris Newman

How Courtney Love writes songs

I increasingly think that Courtney Love writes songs in an intentionally deceptive manner, and that this is especially true of everything she’s done since, and including, Live Through This. The reason is that she’s hiding her involvement with some massive crimes, including the murder of Kurt Cobain and the murder of Chris Newman, and of course, she’s now after me and my daughter.

Courtney constructs elaborate scenes to in which you can drown. She makes you think she’s talking about something, or to someone, when she’s actually talking to someone else, or about something else. She uses a lot of vague “he, she, you” where it’s difficult if not impossible to figure out who she’s talking about. Maybe if you have specialized inside knowledge you can figure it out – I usually can’t figure it out – or I figure it wrong.

I have said that Courtney Love was a honeytrap. As far as I know, Chris Newman was the first person she tried to honeytrap. She was, at the time, only sixteen, so I imagine she had been put up to it, at least in part by her father, who is the person who provided her with the LSD that she came equipped with. He in turn was likely working with another entity which was probably CIA and music business. She later honeytrapped Kurt Cobain.

When I ran into the Hole song “Honey” I didn’t know anything about honeytraps outside of maybe seeing a very superficial version of attempted honeytrapping in James Bond movies. It wasn’t something I would expect would happen to me or anyone around me. In any case, I listened to the album Nobody’s Daughter when it came out in 2010, a year after Chris and I got together, and then moved on – but later, after I began to see the parallel patterns between Nirvana and Napalm Beach, specifically Cobain’s adaptation of Chris’ early 1980s equipment set up and also the way the bands seemed to follow each other’s live performances in Europe (a pattern that I now see also happened in Seattle and Portland) – I started to look more closely at a lot of things, like Cobain’s lyrics “I’m a liar and a thief,” for example – and I started to see evidence that Cobain was extremely troubled by the way that Chris was being cheated, stolen from, and lied to.

Once Chris and I got together, and as we began to recover Chris’ catalog, and especially as Chris worked toward freeing himself from heroin addiction, Courtney Love no doubt knew that one or both of us would eventually detect this pattern, and that it could result in legal actions involving Nirvana.

I’m not sure how long the whole scenario had been planned out, but it seems like Courtney Love had been laying the groundwork for a profound deception going back years. She had Chris believing that she had a huge teenage crush on him, that she wanted him to be “her first” lover. She had written him letters from Europe. She had told him at a party, in front of a number of people “I would have married you Chris Newman!” And after appearing on the cover of Rolling Stone, she greeted him from onstage at La Luna. So Chris had no reason to suspect she held any ill will toward him.

Anyway, after discovering this bizarre pattern with Nirvana and Napalm Beach, I ran into a video of Courtney performing this song “Honey” live on the radio, and I felt that it was a “message to Chris.” What I really felt was that she was drawing a parallel in the song between Kurt Cobain and Chris Newman, and assumed that if Cobain had been troubled by the situation around Chris, she too would have been troubled by it, being as she seemed to care about Chris. And that the reason she didn’t reach out to Chris was because she and everyone was being prevented from speaking freely, or associating freely with Chris and me.

I thought these things because I was missing some key pieces of information.

The first key bit of information I was missing was that Courtney was not an innocent teenager who wandered randomly into a scene and somehow ended up living in the Napalm Beach band house. Courtney Love was actually a honeytrap, both with Newman and Cobain. That fact alone changes everything, especially if you also accept the idea that Courtney Love’s job was to destroy both Cobain and Newman. And that is what I think the truth is.

Once again, at age sixteen, she may not have had full agency – but she continued to make choices along the same lines.

Courtney Love is not just a honey trap but she seems to be a manipulator or “gruber” of finance, meaning she moves money around to get things done, including assassinations. This is achieved by concocting fake files with the FBI and CIA.

The song “honey” was itself a trap.

How we write songs

Chris and I didn’t write songs like other people write songs because we didn’t have access to the language (aka code aka slang) that every other artist has been using, nor knowledge of the framework around which this language hangs – framework in which Chris and I were actually centered. The set up may be depraved but you have to admit it’s clever.

Other artists code things in layers – even coding nonverbal sounds, beats, and chord progressions. Chris and I had no conscious access to any of this and so we wrote in a more straightforward manner. That said, there is still some complexity. For example, Chris wrote the songs on his 1986 album Moving To And Fro generally from the viewpoint of a teenage boy or young adult – but in a song like “Monster” he was actually writing from the viewpoint of a disapproving adult commenting on this teenage boy who spends all his time “drawing weird pictures” and playing electric guitar. Chris felt the phrase “electric guitar” was quaint and old fashioned – like I might think of the word “hyperlink” as quaint and old fashioned. There’s a line in the song about “smoking acid” which is I think an old cliché about people who don’t actually know how LSD is ingested. And the bit about “big red eyes moving to and fro” is about being stoned on marijuana. In coded language, the “red eyes” would indicate surveillance. Chris didn’t have that in mind writing, but others might have it in mind listening, because their background is different.

I think sometimes Chris would put in lines that sounded good, where he liked the rhyme, but in which meaning was secondary. I remember asking him to explain a line from his song “Unworthy” – “Tell me something true, and if it comes from you, I will believe the truth is all you knew” – he tried to explain it, but I think it was hard to explain. I think the sentiment was that – this song being likely directed toward his second wife, Denise – he wanted to believe this idea that she was radically honest and her example could make him a better man. In reality, she was not what he thought she was. Chris tended to self-blame a lot, and to absorb blame from others, and I think part of this was his heavy church upbringing and part of it was his way of being courageous and taking responsibility for everything that went wrong in his life. But part of this line might have just been about the way the words rhymed and flowed together. Chris was very musical.

I wrote the same way as Chris, except that I tended to rewrite and rearrange and try out different words, etc, whereas Chris would write out a song fully formed. Both of us tended to write from personas or different parts of our personality and/or as characters. I have a song called “minivan mom” for example which was about how I was feeling, but not at all about who I was or who I thought I really was. I think the term for this is “implied narrator” – in other words, the narrator of the song is a fictional persona. This I think is pretty standard. Where we differ from other songwriters is that we were unaware of the strange structure that were were born into, the language used to describe it, and the layers of deception within or cloaking around the structure and the language.

It’s weird to have gone through college and gotten a Masters Degree in English, as I did, without having this basic information about the use of coded language in art and music. It’s weird to have slogged through pages of critical theory where all minutae of text is analyzed from every angle, without this ever having been overtly discussed. I imagine if I were to go back to these analytical texts I’d find the coded language in them as well – code language analysis of coded language texts with all these meanings and motifs being analyzed all the while the code itself is never overtly discussed. Trying to comprehend this – what appears to be a fundamental dishonesty in higher learning – is one of the many challenges I’ve faced in recent years. At first I thought that this was the most radical thing about the structure around us – the near complete co-opting of language and it’s deep integration into western art and culture. Now I see that there are bigger issues, like global genocide.

As for the language issue, I eventually concluded that the symbolic coded language must have become ever more deeply engrained because of the nature of the situation. It’s not something that must be the way it is – it’s something that is the way it is because it serves a function. Part of the function is entertainment, but much of the function is secrecy, cover up, or exposure – but coded exposure. Usually a planned (or in progress) crime is exposed too late for it to be stopped.

To a large extent the code is the way it is because of what amounts to violent suppression of free speech and expression, and rewards offered for participation in and cover up of crime. Artists have information about crimes they are not able to share. If they did share this information, nothing would be done to prevent the crime, and the artist might endanger him or herself. This suppression of free speech and the associated patterns of crime should be of great concern.

Another moment of reflection

Every once in a while I have to stand back and look at what the heck is going on here.

Initially, back in 2014, when I started I thought I was writing about an artist who had been unfairly ignored, or who may have burned some of his own bridges during a period of drug addiction. It didn’t take long for me to see signs of something far weirder going on. The response to this was, from the community and industry linked people alike, steadfast denial and pushback – including covert but violent – and ultimately deadly – pushback.

Nonetheless, people have a right to their own legacy, the fruits of their own artistic output, and the right not to be victims of crime, regardless of who the perpetrators are. Also, it became clear that if I did not push forward, the erasing machine would complete its task and not only Chris’ life, but his legacy and memory would be completely wiped. And that’s exactly opposite of what he wanted. He wanted to reach people with his art. He was tricked by what he saw as the community’s threat to withdraw what little support he enjoyed, and to shame him (or me) for expecting or wanting more recognition or reward than he had already received. Now this was all real, it was all scripted, and it was all coordinated as part of this plan to keep Chris sealed away in his corner, which they did, and that is where he was murdered.

Meanwhile, there are efforts out there to tell stories around Chris, but not in any way that will challenge the dominant narrative or have any kind of lasting influence. These are in publications that could easily disappear. Everything is designed to self destruct and disappear at a moment’s notice, and that is what had been going on.

It can be helpful to look at how these narratives are constructed. In fact, it can be helpful to look at how rock n’ roll narratives generally speaking are constructed. It’s increasingly clear these are almost always fairy tales which are concocted to teach people what to expect from artists, or from their own experience, or from the industry, should they wish to take this route. This is part of the financed cult-and-control system set up around celebrities.

Chris’ invisibility was concocted, not real. In fact, Chris was one of the most highly visible artists, but only in a covert manner which meant that he could not even see it himself, much less profit from it. Within this realm, Chris was highly controlled. A lot of this control was linked to CIA MKULTRA related research and technology – cult behaviors, mountains of drugs, hypnosis, lies, frequency based weapons, industry-wide blacklisting.

There are a limited number of scripts to work from with these rock narratives, and the fact that there are scripts at all is evidence of a coverup – or multiple coverups. This is one of those big crimes that is made of lots of smaller ones. The scripts include The Ugly Duckling, The Tale of Redemption, The Cautionary Tale, The Tale of Too Much Too Soon, etc. These are used to cover up CRIME.

The ugly duckling is someone who’s brilliance is not seen or appreciated at first, but then they bloom later on. The tale of redemption is a story about someone who gets set onto the wrong track and is headed for a fall but something or someone rescues the person and/or they are otherwise saved from destruction. The cautionary tale is the person who took the wrong road and didn’t survive (this is a tale that’s been pushed onto Chris and which he at times would internalize), and too much too soon is the concocted and often repeated story of Kurt Cobain. Of course, these tales get mixed up and combined in different ways – for example, Too Much Too Soon can either become the Tale of Redemption or the Cautionary Tale, depending on which direction it takes; the Ugly Duckling is a starter tale which can branch out into different directions, etc. And there are probably other scripts as well, the point being that these are scripts which are imposed onto artists – they are not reality.

And why would there be scripts like this? The primary reason, I’m beginning to think, is to cover up crime. Secondarily, perhaps the creators of these scripts think that they have some kind of timeless take home message or moral for the kids. But these scripts are weak, and more importantly, false.

Celebrities are presented to us for consumption like Roman Gods – larger than life, yet fallibly human.

I do believe that Chris Newman is a thread that when pulled sufficiently, threatens to unravel the entire celebrity system.

Matches: Tom Peterson watch, Cobain’s suicide shirt

Monica Nelson and the Jack London Trio
Monica Nelson (formerly of Obituaries) and the Jack London Trio
Ivan French banner Tom Peterson
Ivan French Facebook banner with Monica featured in profile image (Sept 2022)
Kurt Cobain suicide scene photo - left arm
Kurt Cobain suicide photo (April 1994)

The man’s face on Cobain’s watch, and on Ivan French’s banner above, is Tom Peterson.

Something I notice now, every time I see this image from Cobain’s suicide, is that when Chris was sent home from the hospital in January 2021, after his terminal cancer diagnosis, he arrived wearing a hospital gown with a pattern very similar to Cobain’s suicide shirt. On August 1, 2021, about three months after Chris died I was having such a terrible time with pain in the teeth to either side of the tooth 14 extraction site, I went to an emergency dentist. As I was walking to the dentist’s office from the bus stop, I saw a hospital gown with a pattern identical to the gown Chris had been wearing thrown into a pile of dirt near a highway overpass, along with a bunch of trash including food containers, masks, syringes, and a ripped up copy of Alcoholics Anonymous “Big Book”

August 1, 2021

Compare to this image from Peter Gabriel’s 1987 music video for Big Time

Peter Gabriel - Big Time stuff

See also: Matches: Live Through This (Sept 7 2022)

and A momentary reflection on the narrative and my research to date (Sept 7 2022)

Chris Chalenor

Chris Chalenor was a colorist for Dark Horse comics. According to fandom.com, “he colored several comic books in Dark Horse Comics’ Aliens, Predator and Aliens vs. Predator lines” and “provided original artwork for the Batman versus Predator trading cards” (https://avp.fandom.com/wiki/Chris_Chalenor). Chalenor was born December 10, 1963 and died in 2001 at the age of 37. What I was told is that he committed suicide after having been diagnosed with terminal cancer.

I first arrived in Portland in late 2000 and I never met Chalenor. However it seems he was among the crowd who frequented Satyricon in the 80s and 90s. When I began working with David Ackerman on his Satyricon photo archive in 2006, he would sometimes point out people in the club. Chris Chalenor was in a photo from the January 6, 1989 Nirvana and Mudhoney photoset. This roll was mostly photos of Mudhoney and Nirvana, with a few photos of people in the crowd. No photos on the roll, that I can recall, of Inner Anger performing, though a photo of Courtney Love shows her posing in front of their set list. I have the sense that the band name Inner Anger is a nod to occultist filmmaker Kenneth Anger and that he was (maybe still is) a channel for financing false reports to the FBI. Satyricon had a playground funhouse feel but seems to have been a magnet for occultists.

Here is the photo of Chris Chalenor at the Mudhoney/Nirvana/Inner Anger show (no one has ever identified, to me, the women in the photo)

Chris Chalenor flanked by two unidentified women at Satyricon, 6 January 1989
Satyricon – 6 January 1989

So I saw this photo in 2007, and David pointed out Chalenor, telling me that he’d been a comic book artist who had died young. Chalenor came to my awareness again probably around 2010 after Chris and I were together and I was trying to cobble together lost media archives from Chris’ past. One of the things I acquired was a DVD of a 1986 film (a video, actually) made by Neo Boys drummer and K Records associate Pat Baum. (I also, for what it’s worth, had a scan of flyer for the film, which described Chris’ music as “grunge.” That seems to have vanished.) Actually, it’s unclear if the video was completed in 86 or 87 – Chris was pretty certain it was released in 1986, but credits in the video say 1987. The full video which was on one of my many blown out media devices, was about 30 minutes long and contained a relatively lengthy section where Chalenor said a lot of very nice things about Chris Newman as a musician and artist.

Although I’d noticed a disturbingly high number of cancer diagnoses and deaths in Portland, it wasn’t until 2018 that I began to understand that people were literally being murdered with cancer induced by frequency weapons, including UHF frequencies from television towers, aimed at covertly placed piezo electrical biomedical implants, and also including weapons linked to the network of drones which is very obviously overhead at all times.

A question I have – having just posted these images from the Big Time music video – I remember in this Pat Baum film, Chalenor wearing an outfit similar to the one you see in the middle image, in front of the close of of television snow – but I can’t be sure because I no longer have the whole video. He wouldn’t have had a bow tie but he may have been wearing white, black, and burgundy.

Holla ‘cross from the land of the lost
Behold the pale horse, off course

Wu Tang Clan – Gravel Pit – 2000

What was the motivation to elevate, then destroy Kurt Cobain?

And the sky was all violet
I want it again, but violent, more violent
Yeah, I’m the one with no soul
One above and one below

Courtney Love – Hole – Violet – 1994
Napalm Beach w Venarays

One of the things I’m trying to parse is the motivation to lift up, then destroy Kurt Cobain, and to involve Courtney Love in that endeavor. Because that’s what I think happened. I think that based on the way Nirvana was run parallel to Napalm Beach between 1987 and 1991 (I don’t know if I’ve fully shown that, but I’ve seen it) – and the movements of Courtney Love, from the Napalm Beach band house, to the UK, back to Portland, to San Francisco (this may have been Rozz-related, but there are a lot of people linked to San Francisco including some around me), back to Europe, making Straight to Hell and Sid and Nancy in 1986… during this period of time, she was always back and forth to Portland. Kat Bjelland’s band Venarays was playing around Portland and Seattle a lot in 1986 and 87; Bjelland probably moved to Minneapolis in 1987 and Love followed her (so the story goes) in 1988.

For my part, I left Humboldt County and started going to school in St Paul, across the river from Minneapolis, in late 1987. (Again – I’d wanted to go to school at Evergreen in Olympia.) My boyfriend Mike Payne showed up in June 1988 and we moved to Dinkytown in Minneapolis where he lived with me until November. The girl that I considered my best friend was Erika Schlaeger. She lived in a warehouse space downtown and she knew everyone in Babes in Toyland and I later found out she knew Courtney Love as well.

All of the people I thought were my friends (as well as Mike Payne) apparently turned out to be backstabbers, filing false reports with the FBI. This may be why the FBI/CIA started torturing me via back implants in 1990, though I think there was an alternate goal which was to introduce me to muscle relaxers and opioids. This was done, it seems deliberately, to many people in my circle, and of my generation. I had no interest in taking heroin, so they (corporate financed, medical malfeasance FBI/CIA) made me a “chronic pain patient” – which they also did to Kurt Cobain and many others. This kind of thing seems so insanely evil it may be hard for some people to believe but it’s really just normal operating procedure in this lucrative (for someone) living nightmare.

With regards to honeytraps, I’m putting together is a picture where there is a lot of movement with key individuals, including lots of traveling to Europe and elsewhere. Mike Payne went to Europe/UK and Southeast Asia at least three times in the late 1980s. Erika Schlaeger was traveling in Europe and South America. Courtney Love was in Europe/UK and Guam, maybe other places. These same individuals also travelled frequently within the Untied States. Where did all the traveling money come from, and what, exactly, were they doing on these trips? Were they collecting and distributing finance? Were they brokering deals? Were they peddling malfeasance and murder?

There are other weird coincidences. I’ve talked about the matching jailbait honeytraps – Courtney (aimed at Chris) and “George” (aimed at me) both of whom were linked to Erika Schlaeger in Minneapolis. But my daughter was also honey trapped beginning in 2018 by a guy she met in Washington D.C. while she was doing an internship. This was a very nasty and traumatic thing that was done to her. This man (who lied a lot) had grown up (he said) in Hollywood, Florida (near Miami). During that period of time my daughter had been placed in housing on the George Washington university campus and her building was called The Dakota (about five blocks from the White House, it looks like). That’s a link to (John and Yoko and) Courtney Love and Erika Schlaeger. I say it’s a link to Erika Schlaeger because in the 1980s there was an old hotel in Minneapolis called the Dakota with a dark bar downstairs that Erika liked to frequent. I say it’s a link to Courtney Love because she wrote a song called “20 Years In The Dakota.”

map of Washington DC showing location of Dakota building

This is really hard to write about because it is so infuriating as a mother that they did this to my daughter, even after I was actively trying to address this issue, warn my daughter, etc. These occult creep-stars have a million different ways to kidnap, lie, exploit, betray, harm, and murder, and Courtney Love is at the forefront of a tremendous amount of this, representing, I think, global corporate finance and entertainment industry interests, all while being backed by the FBI and CIA.

This brings me back to why there was this plan to promote, then destroy Kurt Cobain. I have to guess it was for a few reasons. First, there’s the occult. It could be a very old thing done with modern technology, as I suspect what was done to Bret Bowman was a very old thing done with modern technology. But the practical reason may have been to essentially capture everyone involved in the crime, especially Kurt and Courtney. Kurt Cobain was likely chosen for a number of reasons, including his talent, his location, his background (family ties, butterflies) – and possibly also because he was not fully on board with the program of destruction aimed at me and Chris Newman, thus he was a strategic elimination. By involving Courtney Love in all of this, it makes her very invested in not having the truth revealed. And there’s been a ton of energy put into hiding the truth. Even the so-called “justice for Kurt” movement is part of the hiding of truth, because it presents a scenario that isn’t even close to what happened.

When I look at what happened to Bret Bowman and what happened to Kurt Cobain as matched atrocities, what I see are the same players, basically. At the very least, you see that people involved in each scenario were adjacent to each other, but I honestly see signs of Courtney’s tracks in both events. When Bret was hit by the car on June 27,1988 while high on LSD, he was on his way to the Country Fair in Oregon. In my mind, the Country Fair is linked to Rozz Rezabek, because he went every year, and to Courtney Love adjacent hippies (the Ken Kesey crowd). And Bret was going to meet Scott Gear who worked for Sub Pop either at that time or right after that. Also, as I’ve mentioned, the day Bret was hit was the last day of the monthly Sub Pop Sundays showcase, held this time on a Monday. It’s not clear who played that day, but the previous month it had been the Derelicts and the month before that, Nirvana (April 24, 1988). Before Nirvana it was Doll Squad, and the month before that, Snow Bud and the Flower People (February 28, 1988).

Bret had been hit in Crescent City, California which is where my daughter’s father lived. I can tell that Courtney Love is a malfeasance link to my daughter’s father’s family, and I know that the children in that family have been subjected to trauma based mind control attacks and abuse (because that is really what trauma based mind control is – repeated abuse, at a multigenerational level, applied with intent of molding a slave/prostitute/warrior personality) and I have reason to suspect that Courtney’s father Hank Harrison is behind some of it and I’ll say why that is. It has to do with the comment he made on the Nick Broomfield movie Kurt and Courtney about setting a pitbull after teenage Courtney. I don’t know if that really happened to Courtney (I sort of doubt it) – but it did happen to one of my daughter’s cousins, a cousin that grew up in Oregon and who seems to have been very involved in making false reports to the FBI. These are Native Americans being systematically molested, abused, and exploited by corporate forces, the FBI, and the CIA.

Like I said, Courtney doesn’t really care about her butterfly warriors. She cares about power, money, and keeping the truth buried. And she cares about getting kills. Backed by corporate greed and medical malfeasance, she really has weaponized the FBI and CIA as a killing machine.

And also, as I’ve said, not just Courtney, but a lot of people would rather it not be known that they knew about, participated in, or profited from the take down of Kurt Cobain. That’s one reason there is such a focus right now on taking me down. The other reasons have to do with the thefts and fraud around Chris Newman, who’s estate I inherited. Chris’ true story interferes with the myth of Sub Pop, among others.

So much of this is written right into the songs themselves. Cobain’s song, “Opinion” which he bravely played on KAOS with Calvin Johnson loudly crunching some food as Cobain introduces the song, for example. Sub Pop had been a subscription service – starting with a cassette zine and by 1990, singles – something everyone who comments on this song pretends not to notice – but that’s par for the course.

Congratulations, you have (won/one)
It’s a year’s subscription of bad puns
And a makeshift story of concern
And to set it up before it burns

My opinions. Mmm hmmm (4x)
And there seems to be a problem here
And the state of emotion seems too clear
Now they rise and fall like wall street stock
And they have an affect on our peace talk

Our opinions….