This site was supposed to be about Chris’ music.
I know what Chris wanted, and I know what concerned him. He was concerned about what people would think. Too concerned. I’ve tried to keep this site focused on music. We had other websites as well, and YouTube channels, which over the past eight years we’ve lost control of, our couldn’t afford to keep running, or in the case of the Boo Frog YouTube channel, simply disappeared.
When I met him, Chris was suffering physically and emotionally, and he continued to suffer during our years together. It’s increasingly clear that wasn’t suffering because of poor choices he made based on “free will” or because of “bad luck,” but because of set ups and lies. I began to figure some of this out back in 2014, but at that time, I still didn’t have a clue how extensive the whole business was, and how deep it went, or how sophisticated it was. Furthermore, as soon as I tried to push back, I was met with a financed, neverending, avalanche of hell. A tremendous amount of effort was put into the idea that I could just “behave” my way out. So when I finally gave into the idea, figuring well, if I do what they want, I guess then they can’t blame me (as they had been doing) when things don’t work out – well then they had what they needed. Time and space to operate. So things just got worse and worse.
Here we are, eight years later. Chris has been murdered, and since 2014, absolutely nothing has changed for the better. A lot of things are worse. Clearly, in acquiescing, even the tiniest bit, I made the wrong choice.
It’s been a year since Chris’ death. I’ve tried to honor his wishes to the best of my ability, but it’s also clear that Chris’ wishes were being manipulated, and that he didn’t always understand what was best. I know he cared for me and for Brook, and he worried about how we would fare after his death. He also cared about his legacy.
Today, trying to understand some things, I spent some time looking at my old blogs from 2014 and it was really difficult to see how far I had actually come in understanding that year, only to be shut down while simultaneously being made to believe that the United States government had plans to work something out on our behalf. Because we were being imprisoned, exploited, and harmed, ultimately, I now know, by the FBI and CIA.
Instead, apparently, they chose to treat us like pawns in a global political strategy game. They allowed people around us to profit from lies, and based on those lies, they ripped our family apart, attacked us physically, and murdered Chris. But they didn’t do it alone – they had help from people around us. They had help from people who knew us, people who spied on us, people in the local business community, people in local politics. They had help in the form of lies and corruption from so-called “upstanding citizens.” All around us, the people and groups who had already exploited us for decades continued to enrich themselves as they continued to deceive and misrepresent us and we remained in a state of imprisonment and suffering. Meanwhile, a lot of other people died, who would not have died if the US had done what they had made us believe they intended to do, and helped us get through to a state of justice. I am convinced that we would not have had the COVID epidemic, or all the mass shootings we’ve had, or any number of other horrible events, had they allowed us to come through in a timely manner. Our family would have stayed intact. Chris and I could have lived out the dreams we’d been working on since we got together in 2009. Chris would not have been so horribly tortured and he would not have died as he did, believing he was a failure.
This site was supposed to be about music, but it’s clear that there are powerful entities working hand in hand with the FBI who are dead set on destroying every memory of Chris’s legacy. So right now, I don’t feel that the so-called “high road” is the correct route. I’m not saying that I believe in taking the “low road” – because to me that would mean lying, cheating, stealing – everything that’s been done to us. That’s never how I’ve done things, and I don’t intend to start now. What I mean is that I can no longer ignore what has been going on, and I can’t stay silent about how I feel about Chris’ legacy being sabotaged and his image dragged through the mud, including by people whom he trusted the most.